~Dis-empowerment~

I have always thought of the word dis-empowerment as an external force breaking someone, making them feel weak. I often associated this word, this feeling, this concept, with a breaking point. Comparable to how force causes a bone to fracture. You know, a marked moment or event that takes something substantial away from someone. Resulting in an internal, emotional, stripping of sorts leaving the individual bare; naked.

I wonder if I am the only one who has thought of this word this way?

Until recently, I had not thought of this word and the power behind it as something that can be applied to one's own self destruction. To further illustrate my point, its a meaning that conveys that specific (acute or chronic) moments and or thought patterns influence our behavior and perception leading to self-sabotage. Ultimately, causing someone to invalidate their own worth and in doing so, taking away their own power.

I was taking a class that delved into the concept of emotional trauma being stored in the body. We have explored how physical (psychosomatic) signs and symptoms tend to come up and if understood properly can be a road map to better understanding ourselves. This is a result of our intuition trying to communicate with us. Essentially that gut feeling "our intuition" is trying to convey that something is array. Our intuition is shouting "DUDE, something is off balance and change needs to be made to rectify this situation." My intuition will scream at me afterwards even louder saying "stop ignoring me, I am not going away like you had hoped."

As someone who has spent the good majority of my life harnessing the "suck it up buttercup" mentality when it comes to physical ailments, I have often disregarded or attempted to ignore myself. Shutting down my pains thinking that "if I ignore it, it will go away."

Boy, is that a completely unfair and f***ed up thing to do to myself.

It has been an interesting turning to point to alter my perspective. The mind is such a tricky thing, and as I become more self aware and aligned with myself, the more convoluted and muddled things become.

The take away is to try and listen. Our bodies are absolutely amazing, what they do at the molecular level is astounding. The fact that nerves communicate through electromagnetic pulses and that we are all vibrational beings, is so fascinating!

We can control a lot more within our self than we realize. You know the common saying "mind over matter?" It is a completely true saying, and not only from an emotional sense, but even on a biochemical level, your thoughts influence the environment that your genes are in. This is power.

Slamming yourself down is the opposite. Its a lesson, I am constantly working through.

An example of this came up this week. I have been saying for months that I need to take my IUD out, I felt it was connected to some weird reactions in my body. I kept coming up with excuses such as "I don't have time," "my family doctor is on medical leave," when really I was just scared (for so many reasons). Scared of my own power and knowing myself differently than I have for the last decade of being on birth control.

How sad, well then this week, my IUD moved out place and caused a lot of discomfort. I could not longer ignore this and had to have it taken out. My body literally rejected this external object, and although I didn't want to deal with it, the next thing my body did was make it so there was pain, making it that much harder to ignore.... My intuition has been loud and clear, I ignored it, taking my power away, until my body took control and forced me to take my own power back.

Now, I am on a different journey of knowing myself but I feel somewhat empowered by the fact that now I am in control of myself. My hormones, are my hormones to regulate and understand, not some Mirena's hormones. My body, is my body and its time I become fully connected to it.

Why do we do this? Wouldn't this world be so much more beautiful if we actually saw our own power and understood our worth rather than stripping it from ourselves?

Instead I see people, the ones I admire most, knocking themselves down. Whether its a business slump, unable to believe they are worthy of literally anything on this planet, people who hide behind their emotions, or do anything, anything possible, to distract themselves.

Dis-empowerment is stripping yourself of your worth. Not believing in your ability to thrive, and be your best self. Its time we drop the dis, and become empowered. Seeing yourself for all that you are, peeling back your layers and trusting that the real you is wondrous. Because it is.

Pic of me at Mount Seymour being an awko taco!